Who knew that blogging
would be so hard?! I sure didn't. They explain that to you but you don’t really
know until you do it for yourself. I started my blog May 30, posted again on June 1, and haven’t been
back. What a month June turned
out to be. There have been things
happening that has made it more than a notion to blog every day.
Let’s start with
blogging. And as you can see, I
was excited and inspired to start “My First Blog.” Thanks again Jenni. I borrowed her idea of blogging the entire month
of May, accepted her challenge and decided to do it in June. My goal was to blog everyday to get in the habit
of blogging. I wasn't aware of the
time and the mental facilities you need to have to actually do that. I can’t tell you how many times I have opened a
page to start writing and nothing. Nothing to say, nothing to share just plain NOTHIN!
Then my next blog
consisted of participation in the “Blog-A-Day” blog challenge, cause what’s the
use of doing it by myself, right? When I realized that I hadn't posted all the questions. OK, four days after posting I realized that and
still, I didn't put up the questions. Just nothing to say came to mind. Seems though that today is different.
I’m in a calm place
now. I have discovered things
about myself that I had forgotten. Thoughts are flowing.
I didn't do much of an
“About Me” page, so let’s dive a little more into that. This month, I became the proud parent of a
graduated high school senior. I put it that way because this is coming after the ceremony. I love my child and I find myself sometimes
bragging on him because he has been dealt so much and to finally have made it
through high school… Well, we all remember high school!
My son has ADHD, has had
it all his life. Will have it all his
life and yet he’s quite the personality. He has graduated from a special needs
school. He is kind and sweet and
loving, he takes good care of his momma, polite, outspoken and very
intelligent. He is a delight. And he is a big boy. Now I don’t mean basket ball, foot ball big
although he is about 6 feet tall. I mean he is a plus sized dude. Earlier this month, his doctor discovered that
he has high cholesterol and she wants it to be controlled mainly by diet. She doesn't want to put him on medication and I
tend to agree with her. I don’t believe in a lot
of pill popping. I pause to say he’s a
picky eater. He wants what he wants,
when he wants it, the way it was the first time he had it. And, for those of you who don’t have one,
special needs children can live in repetition. The problem is getting him to eat different
stuff in different ways. Like most people he
loves fried. He can eat it forever if
it’s fried. So getting him off fried
isn't too bad but it’s a chore. And getting him to eat vegetables isn't too bad
either as long as they are raw. The bad part is portion size. My baby seems to feel that since he’s a big guy
then he gets a big plate. That One can pack some
food. It’s rare to hear him
say that he’s full. So that’s this month
with my son. I’m not ready to talk
about last month. All I can say is
“Girls.” Need I say more?
June for me has also not
been a picnic for me personally either. I have had just about every emotion that someone
can have this month. I’m not working. My child didn't get paid and bills are
late. I have no idea what
happened to his banking arrangements, and now we have to find out what’s going
on there. I’m staying with my
mother right now and that’s quickly becoming an unfriendly situation. I’m away from my husband. Now that’s a situation!! Attempting to gather as much information that I
can so I can run my own business and that has a lot to do with self esteem. I have been depressed, frustrated, confused,
tired, combative and sad, numb and overwhelmed and I am sure a few other things
that I can’t think of. Thankfully, I am feeling
better. Remembering past
techniques for coping has really been freeing.
The major thing that has
helped me is MUSIC. I think one side gets
upset when it has nothing to do and it rebels. For the last few years I have noticed that when
I read, something that I have always loved to do, my head gets this tightness
and my eyes cross and I don’t remember what I had just read. When I lost my job and had to update my resume,
I was practically in tears. My head would swim and my heart would start getting tight and
fluttering at the same time. I didn't know what the cause of that was. The other day, I was reading something and I
felt like I wanted to hear some music. So I turned on my music app, turned the volume down low enough to
hear it as background music and read the material and was able to recall
it. That’s when it dawned on
me that when I was in elementary school, I used to listen to music when I
studied, any kind of music. My grandmother would often fuss at me because I would be studying
while listening and singing along to loud music. She would say “How can you study with all that
noise? You need quiet to
study. You need to turn that
stuff off.” My grandmother was
religious, she didn't curse. I would make the music lower and continue to read and study, and
when the test came in I would get an “A” every time. When I had a big test and had to study I
listened to music while I studied. When I needed to write an essay, I listened to some form of
music. I have been listening to
“Binaural Mind Dimension” while writing this blog. Look how fluid this blog is. Can you feel how at ease I am with writing
this? Words are just flowing
from my fingertips. I truly have enjoyed
writing this.
I don’t know now if I
want to post the blog questions. I like doing it this way, off the top of my head kind of
writing. Maybe I’ll post them
just for the fun of it.
Thanks all for listening
to me. Bless you all.
Angel
